Couples Therapy & Marriage Counseling
Couples Therapy & Marriage Counseling
Whether you are in a newer relationship looking to create a strong foundation, recently got engaged and want to address any problems before they grow, or are a married couple who needs a safe space to be vulnerable and work through issues that have been festering for a long time – I am here to help you build a relationship built on communication, understanding, and compassion.
Hello, I’m Lance
For many years, I’ve worked with couples navigating the challenges that come with moving through life in a partnership. Understanding your experiences and dealing with what life throws at you is difficult enough as an individual; being able to solve problems and communicate with someone who has had different experiences and whose brain works differently than yours is another challenge entirely.
I believe that a happy marriage does not mean that you don’t have any issues. To me, a happy marriage means that you are willing to work through those inevitable tough times and disagreements with your partner, which comes from having a deep understanding of your partner, compassion for them, and the ability to be vulnerable with them, talking about whatever comes up without fear or anger or resentment.
With newer couples, I believe that creating a foundation to be able to have those difficult conversations in the future is the most important part of creating a long-lasting relationship.
About My Approach to Couples Therapy & Marriage Counseling
My approach with couples involves fostering vulnerability and helping partners hold space for each other. Oftentimes, there is built up resentment or unmet needs that have not had a safe space to be voiced and heard.
My goal is to create that safe space and encourage couples to be vulnerable with each other in a way that leads to a deeper understanding of your partner and yourself.
The Psychoanalytic Difference
Most couples therapy focuses on communication skills, conflict resolution, or learning new strategies to “fix” recurring arguments. While those tools can ease tension in the short term, they often don’t address the deeper reasons couples get stuck. In my psychoanalytic approach, the focus is on understanding why those patterns arise in the first place.
With a psychoanalytic lens, couples therapy becomes less about teaching skills and more about discovery. Together, we explore how each partner’s history, emotions, and unspoken needs shape the way they connect, and why they clash. By recognizing these patterns and exploring where they come from, couples find new ways of seeing each other. This deeper awareness allows vulnerability and compassion to re-emerge naturally, strengthening the bond you’ve built together or laying a foundation for future relationship success.
Couples Therapy Focus Areas
My practice focuses on providing specialized support for all types of couples. Each therapeutic journey is as unique as the individual and couple I’m working with, but is always grounded in mutual respect, curiosity, and a commitment to understanding.
Please note, the categories below are simply to signify a specific stage of relationships; my services are open to any type of couple and are not limited to those who are engaged or married.
New Relationships – Building A Foundation
If you are in the early stages of a meaningful relationship that you would like to last a long time, building a strong foundation is incredibly important.
I help you and your partner better understand each other’s emotions, reactions, and the why behind actions which allows for open communication and the ability to establish healthy patterns that support your growth together.
Engaged Couples – Addressing Recurring Problems & Patterns
After a few years with your partner, you have probably encountered recurring arguments or found mannerisms that consistently get under your skin.
My goal is to help guide you and your partner to open communication about these tension points in order to better understand where they are coming from and why they keep coming back.
Married / Long-Term Couples – Reconnecting With Your Spouse: Allowing Vulnerability & Compassion
Over time, even strong relationships can drift.
My role is to create space help couples rediscover how to be vulnerable with and compassionate towards each other by creating space to better understand each other’s needs, uncover emotions that may have been festering over the years, and recognize reactionary patterns that keep popping up.
New Relationships – Building A Foundation
If you are in the early stages of a meaningful relationship that you would like to last a long time, building a strong foundation is incredibly important.
I help you and your partner better understand each other’s emotions, reactions, and the why behind actions which allows for open communication and the ability to establish healthy patterns that support your growth together.
Engaged Couples – Addressing Recurring Problems & Patterns
After a few years with your partner, you have probably encountered recurring arguments or found mannerisms that consistently get under your skin.
My goal is to help guide you and your partner to open communication about these tension points in order to better understand where they are coming from and why they keep coming back.
Married / Long-Term Couples – Reconnecting With Your Spouse: Allowing Vulnerability & Compassion
Over time, even strong relationships can drift.
My role is to create space help couples rediscover how to be vulnerable with and compassionate towards each other by creating space to better understand each other’s needs, uncover emotions that may have been festering over the years, and recognize reactionary patterns that keep popping up.
Couples Therapy for New Relationships
Building A Foundation
A new relationship can be exciting, but it also brings challenges. You are learning about each other’s habits, histories, and ways of communicating. These early moments often set the tone for the future of your relationship. In therapy, we’ll look at the patterns beginning to form and explore how each of you experiences closeness, independence, and conflict.
In our sessions, we may explore:
- How you and your partner communicate during conflict and moments of stress
- What unspoken assumptions may be shaping your expectations of each other
- How past experiences influence the way you connect now
- Differences in needs for closeness, space, or independence
- How trust, openness, and vulnerability are developing between you
By getting curious about these dynamics now, you can build a foundation of trust, openness, and understanding that will carry your relationship forward in healthier ways.
Therapy for Engaged Couples
Addressing Recurring Problems & Patterns
When you’ve been with a partner for several years, patterns begin to emerge. Some strengthen your connection, while others may create conflict or distance. You may find yourselves repeating the same arguments, struggling with unresolved tension, or feeling the weight of expectations as your commitment deepens. Therapy is a place to slow down and make sense of these patterns, rather than letting them quietly erode the relationship over time.
In our sessions, we may explore:
- Where recurring conflicts are coming from and why they keep resurfacing
- How each partner’s history and experiences shape the way you interact now
- The role of unspoken resentments, fears, or needs in your relationship
- How communication styles may clash or lead to misunderstandings
- What each of you hopes to create in a long-term partnership
My role is to guide you and your partner toward a deeper understanding of one another and hold space for vulnerability so that you can move forward in your relationship with open communication and understanding of your partner.
Marriage Counseling & Long-Term Relationships
Reconnecting With Your Spouse: Allowing Vulnerability & Compassion
After years or decades together, it’s easy to feel like you know everything about your partner. But assumptions often get in the way of truly seeing each other’s growth, needs, and emotions. In marriage counseling, we’ll explore the deeper meaning behind recurring conflicts, unspoken resentments, and the distance that may have formed over time.
My role is to help you cultivate curiosity about your partner again; to ask why they respond the way they do and what lies beneath the surface of repeated arguments.
In our sessions, we’ll look at:
- Where the problems began and why they keep returning
- What emotions or past experiences are fueling current conflicts
- How you and your partner interact and react in difficult moments
- What needs may have gone unmet
- What resentments have built up and how they’re shaping your dynamic
I help by creating a safe space to be vulnerable with one another and fostering deeper, more curious conversations that lead to renewed compassion, deeper intimacy, and a stronger connection.
In-Person & Virtual Couples Therapy Options
My Practice in Upper Saddle River, New Jersey
For those who prefer the in-person connection, my office provides a quiet, comfortable space for our work together. I’ve intentionally created an environment that feels both professional and welcoming, a place where you can feel at ease as we explore challenging topics.
The office offers:
- Complete privacy and confidentiality
- Comfortable seating arranged for conversation
- A calm, distraction-free atmosphere
- Easy access from surrounding Bergen County communities
- An abundance of convenient parking
My hope is for this space to become a consistent anchor in your therapeutic journey, a dedicated environment for self-exploration and growth.
My office is located at 345 Rte 17 S, Upper Saddle River, New Jersey and I welcome people from any location throughout New Jersey, and even New York. If you want to make the drive, I would love to have you in my office.
Virtual Therapy Throughout New Jersey & New York
Distance and busy schedules shouldn’t stand between you and quality therapy.
As a licensed therapist in New Jersey and New York, I offer secure, confidential virtual therapy sessions through a HIPPA compliant platform for clients throughout these states to bring the same depth and quality of care directly to you, wherever you are.
Convenient & Efficient
Virtual therapy eliminates commute time and offers flexible scheduling options, making it easier to prioritize your mental health amid a busy lifestyle.
Comfortable Environment
Many clients find they open up more easily from the comfort of their own space. Virtual therapy allows you to engage in deep therapeutic work from an environment where you already feel secure and at ease.
Consistent Support
Weather, illness, or travel plans no longer mean missed sessions. Virtual therapy ensures continuity in your therapeutic journey, even when life circumstances change or unexpected situations arise.
Convenient & Efficient
Virtual therapy eliminates commute time and offers flexible scheduling options, making it easier to prioritize your mental health amid a busy lifestyle.
Comfortable Environment
Many clients find they open up more easily from the comfort of their own space. Virtual therapy allows you to engage in deep therapeutic work from an environment where you already feel secure and at ease.
Consistent Support
Weather, illness, or travel plans no longer mean missed sessions. Virtual therapy ensures continuity in your therapeutic journey, even when life circumstances change or unexpected situations arise.
Convenient & Efficient
Virtual therapy eliminates commute time and offers flexible scheduling options, making it easier to prioritize your mental health amid a busy lifestyle.
Comfortable Environment
Many clients find they open up more easily from the comfort of their own space. Virtual therapy allows you to engage in deep therapeutic work from an environment where you already feel secure and at ease.
Consistent Support
Weather, illness, or travel plans no longer mean missed sessions. Virtual therapy ensures continuity in your therapeutic journey, even when life circumstances change or unexpected situations arise.
How We’ll Work Together
Initial Contact
Fill out the contact form with some basic information. I’ll reach out as soon as possible to schedule a brief phone consultation.
This gives us a chance to discuss your needs and determine if my approach is a good fit for you.
You are also welcome to give me a call or email to set up our initial meeting.
First Session
Our first session allows us to dive deeper into what brings you to therapy and what you hope to gain from our work together.
I’ll ask questions about your current situation, relevant history, and goals. This is also your opportunity to ask any questions about my approach.
Ongoing Therapy
Most clients find weekly, and even bi-weekly, sessions to be the most effective, especially in the beginning.
This consistent schedule helps build momentum in our work and allow us to dive deep into why patterns are appearing in your life.
As we progress, we’ll continually assess and adjust our focus based on your evolving needs and insights.
I offer once or twice per week sessions to ensure we can keep the momentum going with what we are working on.
Since my practice focuses on diving deep into underlying patterns, it is important that we can quickly address what has been happening in your life and start uncovering how it is affecting you and why these patterns are appearing.
How We’ll Work Together
Initial Contact
Fill out the contact form with some basic information. I’ll reach out as soon as possible to schedule a brief phone consultation.
This gives us a chance to discuss your needs and determine if my approach is a good fit for you.
You are also welcome to give me a call or email to set up our initial meeting.
First Session
Our first session allows us to dive deeper into what brings you to therapy and what you hope to gain from our work together.
I’ll ask questions about your current situation, relevant history, and goals. This is also your opportunity to ask any questions about my approach.
Ongoing Therapy
Most clients find weekly, and even bi-weekly, sessions to be the most effective, especially in the beginning.
This consistent schedule helps build momentum in our work and allow us to dive deep into why patterns are appearing in your life.
As we progress, we’ll continually assess and adjust our focus based on your evolving needs and insights.
I offer once or twice per week sessions to ensure we can keep the momentum going with what we are working on.
Since my practice focuses on diving deep into underlying patterns, it is important that we can quickly address what has been happening in your life and start uncovering how it is affecting you and why these patterns are appearing.